This Is What Anger Is Made Of…

I have held and still hold irrational and rational anger towards a lot of things. I’ve been able to let go of some and ease my mind a little. Some things I’m still angry about are so small, I only think of them when I’m triggered by something. Others are so big that I have spent nights awake thinking of them. The Lizzie McGuire Movie is one of the big ones.

Now I’m sure you’re asking ‘Why Ashley? Why this fun movie about the lovable Lizzie going off on a Roman adventure where she finds out she’s a doppelgänger for a Italian pop star?” Oh…I find ways. It’s not to say I don’t love The Lizzie McGuire Movie. I grew up with Lizzie. I love Hilary Duff still to this day. I wrote a speech about Hilary in the eighth grade about just how amazing she truly is. But there is just one thing that forever grinds my gears about this movie which is…

LIZZIE KNEW GORDO LIKED HER PRIOR TO THE EVENTS OF THE MOVIE!

In an episode entitled Clue-less which happens to be one of my favourite episodes, Lizzie and gang have a murder mystery party. The game is afoot and everyone gets really into the mystery of it all. Gordo, who repeats more than once that he’s the ‘low key best friend that nobody notices’, gets overly competitive and keeps one upping an equally competitive Lizzie. Lizzie doesn’t understand why Gordo is suddenly cares so much about winning but the pair face off to beat each other. A plot twist forms when Kate of all people pulls Lizzie aside and tells our sweet unobservant Lizzie that Gordo is trying to get her attention and has had a crush on her forever. If you were a fan of the show, this should have been no surprise to you. While Lizzie is a sweet and well meaning character, she can be very self-centered like the majority of teenagers. So Lizzie lets Gordo have the win and on the high of the victory, Gordo goes to ask out Lizzie but is interrupted by Lizzie’s dad. Classic Sam McGuire.

The following episode Bye Bye Hillridge Junior High concludes with Lizzie kissing Gordo on the cheek sending the series off into the unknown as they enter high school and new territory in their friendship.

When they announced the movie, I was excited for this possibility. Lizzie and Gordo dancing around their feelings for one another and figuring that out. But the writers just completely omit what happened in the end of the series. Instead we have Lizzie going off on her adventures with Paolo and leaving Gordo behind despite promising him they’d have their own adventures around Rome.

Déjà vu occurs when Lizzie once again doesn’t understand Gordo’s out of character attitude towards her and once again Kate has to be the one who explains to Lizzie that Gordo obviously likes her. I mean…the scene on the airplane when Lizzie and Gordo fall asleep. Gordo wakes up to find her asleep on his shoulder and instead of moving, he nuzzles his head into hers. It’s perfectly adorable and I’m pretty sure I probably screamed to make it known how cute it was. Instead of a kiss on the cheek, we get a full blown kiss between them. It’s perfect and it almost made me forget that we’ve seen this all before. So what the fuck happened?

Lizzie was always a clumsy little idiot. No offence to her. Maybe when she fell in her tub in the beginning of the movie, she hit her head and forgot about what would have happened only maybe a week or so prior. Maybe the Men In Black wiped the memories of everyone? Maybe it was all a dream? It would explain why the McGuires are in an entirely different house than in the series.

I honestly don’t know and it’s annoyed me since the movie came out. I’ve learned to accept it (kind of) and I do love The Lizzie McGuire Movie so much. If the almost exact same circumstance already hadn’t happened in the series, it would have been the utterly perfect way to conclude the saga of Lizzie McGuire.

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